My personal essay aired on Writing Class Radio’s podcast today

I'm delighted to share an essay I wrote for a podcast. It took nearly a year of writing, edits, and rewriting to get it done, but it’s finally ready for you to listen.

As a writer, I always felt a sense of dread when it came to edits. I’d open my draft and feel the anxiety creep up when I’d see it filled with slashes and marks and comments, but after this experience of submitting my essay for the podcast, I started to see edits as love. 

Months ago, I wrote a newsletter about writing a personal essay for Writing Class Radio’s podcast and how I perceived the edits from my teachers and the podcast hosts,

Andrea Askowitz

and Allison Langer. 

Getting my essay finalized took nearly a year of back-and-forth edits (to be fair, there was a “holding period” where nothing happened for months). I was asked to go deeper into the why and how and why again.

Sometimes, I didn’t know my whys, but stepping away to give it more thought always helped. I’d go for a long walk or a yoga class and when I returned to write, I felt a clearer sense of what I wanted to say and why I was focused on that particular example or memory. 

My brother’s first letter to me

The essay I wrote for the podcast was about my brother's first letter to me from prison. I couldn’t get myself to open the letter because I was still grieving his 19-year sentence. I remember moving through those early days with a kind of heaviness, like I was slowly sinking in guilt and sadness and fear. Seeing that letter made his imprisonment real, and a part of me wasn’t ready for it. 

I hope you’ll listen. 

Slowing down to explore and be more thoughtful

When the edits were finally complete (a moment of sheer triumph for me) Andrea sent me an email with some feedback. She said next time, go slower and truly let the edits sink in. She encouraged me to think more and to step away for longer chunks of time when addressing edits and rewriting. I wondered what she meant because I did step away—my walks and yoga.

But in hindsight, I realized that I plowed through the edits. I hate admitting this, but I tend to feel rushed in my day to day—get my errands done, complete projects, and tick off the “done” box. Call it stress or trying to be productive or living in a digital world, but this is how I operate, even though I don’t like it.

With the essay, I wanted to get the edits done so that I could get it to the finish line. Just like (someday) finishing my book, I wanted timelines for when the essay would be finalized and when the podcast would air.

But after Andrea’s email to me, I wondered how much better my essay would be if I took her advice and stepped away to reflect more. I wondered if taking weeks and months instead of days to make the edits would have made a more positive impact.

Then, I thought about the balance of working through edits when you want to get it finished. When is an essay, a scene, a chapter good enough and when do you stop editing and rewriting? I definitely don’t have the answer to this, but if you have thoughts, I’d love to hear it. 

About Writing Class Radio’s podcast

In case you’re not familiar, Writing Class Radio’s podcast shares personal essays written by writers, authors, moms, professionals… anyone who has a story. The essays are read by the authors and then discussed by Allison and Andrea.

It’s crazy to think that just a year and a half ago, I was binging every single episode to learn more about the art of personal essay writing. From the very first episode, I immediately liked the hosts and thought they were so sharp and witty. 

This year, the podcast sailed past 1 million downloads. A million. 🤯

I’m honored and grateful to share my story and have two amazing teachers that supported me the whole way through. 🙏