I relate on a lot of levels to this tension, this being pulled in so many directions. For years I followed all the advice about setting goals and measuring progress and data this, analytics that. And all those inputs created a kind of blinding vortex where I would work, grinding myself into a pulp just to get to the outcome I said I wanted. It's no wonder I burned out over and over again. The needle was moving all the time, for one thing (very maddening effect that has). And none of this goal setting ever considered ME in the process. I had no real awareness that I was torturing myself until it was way too late (autism makes "registration" of pain really tricky/elusive).
So the fact that you can see the tension and acknowledge it and relate differently because of it — that's basically the whole ball game, as far as I'm concerned. Of course then that leaves us with, "What do we focus on instead if not the numbers, the end goal?" I suppose it's different for everyone, but for me, I try to really sink into the felt sense of every day.
Did my day have the qualities I value, like relaxation, creative excitement, relational connection? If so, then I met my goals. If not, then time to re-evaluate. And I TRY TO only occasionally touch in with the numbers (this is very hard) and imagine some creative tweaks here and there to try to get my writing into new readers' hands. (The numbers are still very sparkly... you can't NOT see them, but I do try to resist the web they cast.) Anyways, long way of saying, I hear you and you're doing great.
Totally! I am right there with you on the metrics of Substack and for any platform (likes, shares, etc. on social media too). It's hard not to feel discouraged when you're pumping stuff out on a regular basis but not seeing the uptick you'd like. Like you, I see the value and meaning within the process, and then when I talk to folks in real life (IRL), I feel a deeper connection when they tell me they've read my stuff. I suppose it's a constant push pull of just recognizing when you are sliding down the "does my work suck b/c I don't have 10,000 followers" path. Thank you for reading and for your insights, Amanda! :)
The memoir junkies’ emails are going to junk mail. How appropriate! 😊 I love reading your stores and can relate on many levels. Keep up the great work and thank you for openness and transparency ❤️❤️
Thanks Davey! I definitely have my moments of... is this dumb, does my work suck, blah blah blah. Thank you for reading. It means a lot to me and I love that we are still in touch after all these years.
Loved this and I’ve really enjoyed your stories and agree with your cousins assessment (also how lovely to hear such kind words from family 🩷) when I’m feeling like I’m yelling into the void I try to focus on the few, but meaningful connections I’ve made here and let that be enough. For me it’s about the practice and the connection.
Well said - practice and connection. 🫶 I guess it’s all about where you choose to put your focus. Thank you for reading my stories. It means a lot to me. 🙏🏼
I totally relate to this! I get over this by telling myself that there are types of content (listicles and how-tos) that are going to drive more opens and views, but that others (like personal essays) will generate comments and text messages. It's striking this balance between what you care about vs. what the audience wants, and it's definitely a challenge when you're trying to grow an audience.
That said—I see the effort you put into everything you do (Like your mom, I am in awe at how much you produce!) and even when it doesn't feel what you're writing is making a difference now, realize that it might someday to a second-generation immigrant who's ever felt lonely or isolated.
Yeah, it's definitely a balance and from my experience, both on Substack and as a marketer, the stuff that you don't think will generate engagement DOES and vice versa. Thanks for the vote of confidence. I do produce a lot, but I also wonder if it's even worth it. My other thought is always, how can I monetize this?!?! Lol. If only...
Thanks AJ! I still struggle with this, but it makes me feel better that other people can relate. I feel less alone. Thank you for reading (and subscribing)! 😀
I relate on a lot of levels to this tension, this being pulled in so many directions. For years I followed all the advice about setting goals and measuring progress and data this, analytics that. And all those inputs created a kind of blinding vortex where I would work, grinding myself into a pulp just to get to the outcome I said I wanted. It's no wonder I burned out over and over again. The needle was moving all the time, for one thing (very maddening effect that has). And none of this goal setting ever considered ME in the process. I had no real awareness that I was torturing myself until it was way too late (autism makes "registration" of pain really tricky/elusive).
So the fact that you can see the tension and acknowledge it and relate differently because of it — that's basically the whole ball game, as far as I'm concerned. Of course then that leaves us with, "What do we focus on instead if not the numbers, the end goal?" I suppose it's different for everyone, but for me, I try to really sink into the felt sense of every day.
Did my day have the qualities I value, like relaxation, creative excitement, relational connection? If so, then I met my goals. If not, then time to re-evaluate. And I TRY TO only occasionally touch in with the numbers (this is very hard) and imagine some creative tweaks here and there to try to get my writing into new readers' hands. (The numbers are still very sparkly... you can't NOT see them, but I do try to resist the web they cast.) Anyways, long way of saying, I hear you and you're doing great.
Totally! I am right there with you on the metrics of Substack and for any platform (likes, shares, etc. on social media too). It's hard not to feel discouraged when you're pumping stuff out on a regular basis but not seeing the uptick you'd like. Like you, I see the value and meaning within the process, and then when I talk to folks in real life (IRL), I feel a deeper connection when they tell me they've read my stuff. I suppose it's a constant push pull of just recognizing when you are sliding down the "does my work suck b/c I don't have 10,000 followers" path. Thank you for reading and for your insights, Amanda! :)
Love it! Keep writing! BD
Thanks Brian! :D
The memoir junkies’ emails are going to junk mail. How appropriate! 😊 I love reading your stores and can relate on many levels. Keep up the great work and thank you for openness and transparency ❤️❤️
Thanks Davey! I definitely have my moments of... is this dumb, does my work suck, blah blah blah. Thank you for reading. It means a lot to me and I love that we are still in touch after all these years.
Loved this and I’ve really enjoyed your stories and agree with your cousins assessment (also how lovely to hear such kind words from family 🩷) when I’m feeling like I’m yelling into the void I try to focus on the few, but meaningful connections I’ve made here and let that be enough. For me it’s about the practice and the connection.
Well said - practice and connection. 🫶 I guess it’s all about where you choose to put your focus. Thank you for reading my stories. It means a lot to me. 🙏🏼
I totally relate to this! I get over this by telling myself that there are types of content (listicles and how-tos) that are going to drive more opens and views, but that others (like personal essays) will generate comments and text messages. It's striking this balance between what you care about vs. what the audience wants, and it's definitely a challenge when you're trying to grow an audience.
That said—I see the effort you put into everything you do (Like your mom, I am in awe at how much you produce!) and even when it doesn't feel what you're writing is making a difference now, realize that it might someday to a second-generation immigrant who's ever felt lonely or isolated.
Yeah, it's definitely a balance and from my experience, both on Substack and as a marketer, the stuff that you don't think will generate engagement DOES and vice versa. Thanks for the vote of confidence. I do produce a lot, but I also wonder if it's even worth it. My other thought is always, how can I monetize this?!?! Lol. If only...
Just subscribed, Claire, which I thought I'd done already!
I was antsy a week or so ago waiting for one of those round numbers. Now it's there I feel I can go back to enjoying writing!
And yes, it's all about the connection.
Thank you John! Appreciate your comment, glad I’m not alone here lol. 🙂
Wow Claire, your writing really hits home base for me.
Thanks AJ! I still struggle with this, but it makes me feel better that other people can relate. I feel less alone. Thank you for reading (and subscribing)! 😀