Moving forward
From chasing happiness to building it.
For most of my adult life, I moved every single year. If I wasn’t moving, I was traveling. I even started a blog about it.
I searched for happiness from city to city, state to state, job to job. I told myself it was about the adventure! the experience (shout out to FOMO)! I thought moving somehow meant I was moving forward.
But I was running from myself and my failures. Life hadn’t turned out the way I thought it would—a divorce, a younger brother in prison, parents who struggled financially… and on it goes.
I thought my next vacation or move to another city would somehow set me free. But as the saying goes, everywhere you go, there you are.
Two years ago, I stopped this nonsense. I was tired. Moving constantly was physically draining and expensive. So I finally did something different—I bought a place, got a dog, and stayed put. While I felt more rooted (something about having a mortgage does that to you), I still felt as if something was still missing.
Then, this year, I got breast cancer. Two surgeries followed—a lymph node removal and a bilateral mastectomy. I didn’t need chemo or radiation. I feel so very lucky.
Illness forced me to reevaluate everything.
I started to see how much I’d neglected relationships in my life. Constantly moving made it hard for friends keep up—it kept me safe from obligations and commitments.
I hadn’t shown up for people, and working on my memoir and getting a cancer diagnosis forced me to confront that. As I wrote about my past in scenes and chapters, I began to recognize the patterns: the ways I’d sabotaged myself and fell into limited ways of thinking and made-up narratives.
So… after my diagnosis and while I was in recovery, I made it a point to shift priorities. I focused on people and relationships. I started making more time for friends and family, and, when I was sick, I allowed myself to lean on others.
Those connections brought a sense of grounding and joy that no new city, destination, or job ever could.
My new version of moving forward is about love—being present, nurturing connections, and building something meaningful with the people in my life.
So, as we close out 2024, I leave you with this: what does forward motion look like for you in the year ahead, and how will you embrace it?
Here’s a podcast that ties in nicely with this topic from NPR’s Life Kit, Take a moment to reflect before the new year.
More stories…
I haven’t followed you very closely Claire do this is the first I have heard of it. I’m so glad you recovered and are okay. I can relate. I finally bought a house - in Hokkaido - not Hawaii - and have been living in it for the last six months. It’s nice to finally have a home but I know what you are saying. Next time you are here - let’s hit the slopes! Happy New Year! ~ CD
I just wanted to hop on here to say how much I respect you, Claire. You have my utmost respect. It's rare to see someone be vulnerable, to be honest in their writing and in their daily lives. Thank you for what you do. I know it can be hard—maybe the hardest thing ever—with your brother in prison and all the things life throws our way. Just know that you have genuinely uplifted and motivated me, without even realizing it. —Shayla